Before I begin, I feel I must warn you that this month's favorites post contains a lot of Lush products. Well, three, but I think that's quite a bit considering that the list is only 9 things long. Anyway, this month's favorites include a few things that I got for Christmas, but I thought I'd include them because I really, really love them and, even though I've only had a few days to use them, I know they're going to be favorites for a very long time.
1. LUSH's Sympathy for the Skin Hand & Body Cream I don't think I can even do this lotion justice, but I'll give it my best shot. I'd seen a lot about Lush products on YouTube and I really wanted to give it a try, but since it wasn't something I wanted to buy for myself, I put it on my Christmas list (I also included Ocean Salt and some other lotion that I can't remember the name of right now). Well, I suppose my parents thought I needed this because both my mom and dad each got me one. At first I thought I would return one of the pots and get something else, but I love this lotion so much that I knew I'd need the second pot soon enough. I love that it's all natural and made with real bananas, and I thought the banana smell would be overpowering, but it's not at all. It's absolutely perfect. It definitely has a hint of bananas, but not so much that you'd smell like crap if you lathered it on your skin and then added some perfume. The best part? It actually works! I've noticed a huge difference!
2. LUSH's Aqua Marina Cleanser I got this as a sample with one of my pots of Sympathy for the Skin and I LOVE it. When I saw that it had seaweed in it, I was definitely put off by it, but I'm so glad I gave it a chance. I thought it'd have a very fishy smell to it, but it doesn't at all. It does have an ocean-y smell to it, but more like a nice breeze blowing on the beach as opposed to dead fish. It's absolutely perfect. It leaves my face feeling super clean and I can't get enough of the smell!
3. LUSH's Bohemian Soap This was another sample with one of my lotions and I love it! I've been wanting to try it because missglamorazzi talks about them a lot, but, again, it wasn't something I wanted to buy for myself. I'm a sucker for fresh, citrus, or lemon scents, and this scent is like you took a lemon and shaped it into a bar of soap. Super fresh and light.
5. Essential Elements Vanilla & Sandalwood candle Sandalwood is one of my favorite scents ever so I couldn't pass a candle like this buy. Not to mention it's super fragrant, lasts a long time, and is reasonably priced.
6. Ecotools finishing brush This is another one of my Christmas gifts, but I love it. It's super soft and works wonders. Plus, the bristles are cruelty free and good for the environment so it's completely guilt free.
7. Olîe Biologique Huile Moderne Oil I got this in my December Birchbox and I am obsessed. It took me awhile to get used to the smell (it's very earthy), but I love it now. I love putting it on my face once a week to help keep it moisturized. The best part is that it's totally versatile and you can use it on your body, your face, or your hair. Plus, it's all natural!
8. Maybelline New York Volum' Express Falsies Flared Mascara I've been using the regular Maybelline Falsies Mascara for years and it's my favorite by far, but I decided to try the Flare this time and I really, really like it. It definitely adds a little something extra that the regular Falsies Mascara didn't.
9. Jean Pierre Daily Cleansing Towelettes I had been thinking about trying out facial cleansing wipes for quite some time now, but they always seemed so expensive, but when I came across these at Ulta for Buy 1, Get 1 50% Off, I couldn't pass it up. They work really well, too! The leave my face feeling very clean and it makes taking my makeup off really easy.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
December Birchbox
It's no secret that I love Birchbox, and I've been meaning to do box reviews on here for a couple months, but I'm always too excited about opening the box and digging into all the goodies to take the time to write a post about them or take pictures of the box. This month, though, I did take the extra time.
Reviews of each product:
Benefit's POREfessional Primer
Birchbox's Description: Camouflage visible pores with this velvety face primer. The translucent works wonders beneath makeup.
My Thoughts: I actually haven't had the chance to try this out yet, despite having it for a couple weeks now. I'm just so obsessed with my Laura Geller Spackle Primer. I'll try it out eventually, but I'm not too interested in looking for another primer right now.
Harvey Prince Yogini Perfume
Birchbox's Description: Take a deep breath and relax with this calming scent. Notes of sandalwood, Egyptian myrrh, and grapefruit will help you feel as good as you smell.
My thoughts: Not a fan. I originally thought I would be when I read the description and then tested it out the first time, but after wearing it a couple times, I decided I definitely wasn't a fan of the scent. I'm sure it will work for some people, but it's just not the type of scent I'm typically attracted to (although the description makes it sound like it would be).
Jouer Moisturizing Lip Gloss in Birchbox Pink
Birchbox's Description: We teamed up with one of our favorite brands to create this custom fuchsia shade. Apply one coat for semi-sheer pigment, or build it for a hot pink pout.
My thoughts: Jouer is one of my favorites when it comes to lip products. I use their Lip Enhancer obsessively. This lip gloss is wonderful and has just the perfect amount of pink tint to it. Super moisturizing, too!
Olîe Biologique 004 Huile Moderne Oil
Birchbox's Description: Five organic essential oils - including argan, rosehip, and bergamot - team up to moisturize face, body, and hair. A true superhero product for the winter months.
My thoughts: I LOVE this! I love oil in general when it comes to beauty products. I have damaged hair, dry skin, and a dry face so oil is my lifesaver sometimes. This oil smells very earthy and, although it took some getting used to, I love it! I love putting this on my face about once a week to replenish it.
ShowStoppers Fashion Tape
Birchbox's Description: Celeb stylists swear by these double-sided tape strips, which will ensure that your party dress stays perfectly in place.
My thoughts: I haven't used these yet just because I haven't had any use for them, but I'm sure they'll come in handy someday.
EBoost Orange Natural Energy Booster
Birchbox's Description: Bounce back post-party with this tangy citrus energy booster, packed with a mega-dose of nutrients.
My thoughts: I really liked this. Pretty similar to Emergen-C, which I also really like. The difference, I think, is that EBoost offers the energy boost, which I really liked.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Easy, Last-Minute Holiday Truffles
Ingredients:
1 package (8 oz) of cream cheese (softened)
3 cups of melted semi-sweet chocolate chips (about 1.5 bags)
3 cups of powdered sugar
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
Beat cream until smooth. Slowly beat in powdered sugar. Once the powdered sugar and cream cheese are combined completely and smooth, add the melted chocolate and vanilla. Stir until smooth. Refrigerate for an hour or so. Roll into 1-inch balls (bigger or smaller, depending on your preference). Once you've rolled them into balls, you are pretty free as to wear you'd like to go with them. For mine, I did a mixture of truffles rolled in cocoa, powdered sugar, melted peanut butter chips, sprinkles, and crushed almonds. I also added in a few with dyed white chocolate. Get creative!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Review of Crossed by Ally Condie
In search of a future that may not exist and faced with the decision of who to share it with, Cassia journeys to the Outer Provinces in pursuit of Ky - taken by the Society to his certain death - only to find that he has escaped, leaving a series of clues in his wake.Cassia's quest leads her to question much of what she holds dear, even as she finds glimmers of a different life across the border. But as Cassia nears resolve and certainty about her future with Ky, an invitation for rebellion, an unexpected betrayal, and a surprise visit from Xander - who may hold the key to the uprising and, still, to Cassia's heart - change the game once again. Nothing is as expected on the edge of Society, where crosses and double crosses make the path more twisted than ever.
In my words: Crossed picks up where Matched left off - Ky has been taken to the Outer Provinces to his death and Cassia has vowed to find him. The book follows Cassia on this journey to find Ky. She journeys around the Society, first from her home province, to the Farmlands, to work camps near the Outer Provinces, to the Outer Provinces, all the way out past the edge of Society. She journeys past the edge of Society to find Ky, but ends up finding new friends, a strength within her she didn't know she had, and possibly a way to change the world around her, but will she lose Ky? And what secret does Xander have? And why does Ky keeping it?
My rating: 5/5
My thoughts: Before I even finished reading Matched, I ordered Crossed. And, let me tell you, it did not disappoint. Every time I thought I knew what was going to happen, I was proven wrong. The scenery stays relatively the same throughout the whole book, but, it's interesting and beautiful scenery, so it makes it okay. Like I said in my Matched review, I'm a sucker for mysterious characters, especially attractive ones that you also pity a bit, and there were quite a few in Crossed! If there's one thing Ally Condie can do, she can write a hell of a mysterious character! The only downfall that I can see? I have to wait a whole freaking year for the next one!
Published: November 1, 2011
Publisher: Dutton Juvenile
Pages: 367
Thursday, December 1, 2011
November Favorites
My November favorites are pretty limited because I wasted all of my money on stupid things instead of worthwhile things, but here they are:
- Revlon Copper Penny Nail Enamel
- I first saw this on MissGlamorazzi's blog and immediately fell in love. I've never been much for metallic nail polishes, but this one caught my eye. After buying it and putting it on my nails, I was definitely not disappointed. It really was like pouring liquid copper on your nails! In MissGlamorazzi's review, she said it chipped easily, but I didn't have that issue. I didn't even put a top coat on mine and they stayed almost perfect for 2 weeks, which is just unheard of in my opinion. Especially when you consider that I'm one of those people who washes their hands obsessively. Revlon is definitely one of the best drugstore nail polishes and Copper Penny just further proves that.
- Atelier Cologne Vanille Insensee Cologne Absolue
- I am obsessed with this fragrance. I received it in my November Birchbox and fell in love. I was disappointed to find out that it's about $170 for a 200 ml (6.8 oz) bottle of it, but I also understood it, because this fragrance is magical. It's sweet, but it's musky. It's warm, but it's floral. It's so hard to explain. I think Birchbox does it well. "Unlike most vanilla scents, this highly concentrated blend of jasmine, vanilla, and lime is fresh, not sweet . . . Top notes of bright lime and coriander mingle with middle notes of jasmine and oak moss. Madagascar vanilla and amber notes anchor the scent." It is the perfect scent for late fall/winter. Since I only have the sample sized bottle I've been trying to use it very sparingly, but sometimes I just can't resist. It also helps that a little bit goes a long way! If I had $170 to spare, I would definitely use it on this.
- Bath & Body Works Paris Amour Body Spray
- If you're looking for a much cheaper fragrance, I've been using Bath and Body Works Paris Amour Body Spray. I got it as a free gift with coupon, and I'm so glad I did! Bath and Body Works describes it as "a dreamy blend of French tulips, apple blossoms, and sparkling pink champagne, inspired by a romantic stroll through the streets of paris". The only problem I have with this description is that it leaves out a huge chunk of the scent, which is the warm vanilla and amber notes. That's one of my favorite things about this scent, it's floral, but it's also very warm and perfect for the winter.
- Matched by Aly Condie
- You can check out my review of this book here.
- e.l.f. 100 Piece Eyeshadow Palette
- I refuse to believe that you have to spend a lot of money to have a high quality product and e.l.f.'s eyeshadow palettes are some of my favorite examples of that. This palette has every color you could ever want or need to make whatever look you'd like. It's a nice mix of different kinds too and they're all very pigmented. All for only $10. You can't go wrong.
- Turkey!
- Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I love cooking, I love eating, I love having days off of work, and I love family and I get all of those things on Thanksgiving. I especially enjoyed the little turkey cupcakes I made, and you can click here to see my post about them as soon as I put it up :)
Review of Matched by Ally Condie
Cassia has always trusted the Society to make the right choices for her: what to read, what to watch, what to believe. So when Xander's face appears on-screen at her Matching ceremony, Cassia knows with complete certainty that he is her ideal mate . . . until she sees Ky Markham's face flash for an instant before the screen fades to black.
The Society tells her it's a glitch, a rare malfunction, and that she should focus on the happy life she's destined to lead with Xander. But Cassia can't stop thinking abut Ky, and as they slowly fall in love, Cassia begins to doubt the Society's infallibility and is faced with an impossible choice: between Xander and Ky, between the only life she's known and a path that no one else has dared to follow.
In my words: Matched is narrated by seventeen year old Cassia, who lives in a future society where everything is decided for her and life is very planned out, exact, expected, and safe. The book begins the night of her Matching ceremony and follows her through the summer afterwards. During her Matching ceremony she is Matched with her best friend, Xander. What could be more perfect, right? She doesn't have to go through the trouble that the other girls have to go through, she knows her match and he's right there for her to see and be with every day. Cassia has never doubted the Society before or their choices for her, but once Xander's face disappears and Ky Markham's face appears for just a brief moment, Cassia is faced with a choice - something she's never had to deal with before. Is she meant to be with Xander, her best friend who she knows so well, or Ky, the mysterious boy who teaches and challenges her?
My Rating: 4/5
My thoughts: I received Matched last year for Christmas and, as sad as it is, I just now read it. I really, really wish I hadn't waited until now to read it because it really was very good. I read the majority of the book within one sitting, which is very unusual for me. I can never sit still for that long! There were things I didn't like about the book, like the incredible amount of scene cuts to the point where it felt like each chapter was 10 small chapters put into one and the sometimes lackluster descriptions, but those were so minor in comparison to everything else that I eventually got over it. On the positive side, though, I was intrigued by the characters, particularly Ky Markham. I'm such a sucker for mysterious characters, especially attractive ones that you also pity a bit. There were times when I was angry at him, times when my heart ached for him, times when I cried for him, times when I was attracted to him, and that's what I like in a character. I like to be able to feel for the characters and I thought Ally Condie made that possible in all sorts of brilliant ways. I would definitely recommend this book.
Published: November 30, 2010
Publisher: Dutton Juvenile
Pages: 384
NEXT REVIEW (coming soon): The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan
Friday, November 18, 2011
Immediate Reaction to Breaking Dawn Part 1
When I first got out of Breaking Dawn, I had so many emotions and thoughts going through my head and I knew that I would never be able to keep them all alive for the 20 minute drive home from the theater. So I did what any crazy person would do - I turned the voice recorder from my phone on and just talked and talked and talked the entire drive home (yes, the entire drive). And this is what poured out:
"They did an amazing job on everything. It's incredible what a good director can do for a movie because Catherine Hardwicke just murdered Twilight. And it sucks because it was such a loved story, especially by me, but of course by others too. She just ruined it and made it a joke and Breaking Dawn went and stole that title right fucking back and it was incredible. They did an amazing job with everything. There wasn't a single thing in the movie where I went and said 'You know what, they could have done this better' because they couldn't. I have never, ever walked into a movie that was based on a book and walked out thinking 'That was better than how I pictured it. They took what I loved and made it better'. I have never had that happen. Not with Harry Potter, not with Twilight, not with any book ever. That's one of the reasons I was kind of nervous about going to see this, because I didn't want to see another thing I love get ruined by somebody doing a half-assed job just to make money. It's why I don't really want to go see the Hunger Games. And it kind of just restored my faith that it is possible for them to do a good job on a movie and not murder it and not make it this horrible, horrible thing, you know? It is possible for them to do the book justice. And this is the first of the movies to be produced by Stephenie Meyer, which I think made a huge difference. It, of course, also helped that they had a great director like Bill Condon who has directed amazing movies like Dreamgirls. But, I mean, it was incredible. Everything about it was incredible. They did an incredible job. I don't know what they did for Bella's body. I dont know if she lost weight for it. Obviously at some parts she was using a body double or a wax figure, but I'm not sure the extent of that (I have since looked, and Kristen said it was almost all digital. Which is amazing. They did such a good job making her look that way.). Because it is true, and I didn't really think about it or think they would do anything about it in the movie, but she did lose weight and was practically on the edge of death, and they really did make her look that way . . . I have no words. Well, clearly I have a lot of words. It was amazing. Every part of it. And they stuck so true to the book. Other than the French clan who comes to visit for the wedding...Other than that, they really stuck to every single detail. There really wasn't a part where I was like...Well, I mean, during the honeymoon they kind of combined a few nights into one night, which is fine. I mean, not a big deal. Obviously they can't show every night of them having sex, although I really wouldn't be opposed to it. That's literally the only thing that I can think of that wasn't entirely true to the books. Other than that, though...Having just re-read the book, you know, it felt like I was watching the book in action. And, the thing is, when I go see books onscreen - Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Harry Potter, whatever - you know, I expect to walk out and be sad because they took my world away from me, they took what I imagined away from me. And this time I walked out thinking 'They didn't take anything away from me, they gave me something better. They gave me something. I got something out of this. I didn't get anything taken away.' Like, that, I mean, is beautiful. The entire movie I was glued to the screen. I felt like I was in the world. And, of course, it helped that I saw all 3 of the previous movies right beforehand, but, I mean, I just felt like I was, like I was watching the book. I was watching it play in my mind, like I do when I read it, except better...even better than I could have imagined. The wedding dress was beautiful. I would have changed a few things on it, but it was beautiful. When I'm reading I picture the world around the character moreso than I picture the character and what they're wearing or anything like that so what the characters look like isn't a huge deal to me, but how the world looks is, and I thought they did great. I was really worried about when they go on their honeymoon because I have that very much stuck in my head how I think it looks and they made it even better. I mean, I'm so, so happy right now...It sounds so weird right now, but I have never felt that way walking out of a movie. I always feel like they took something from me and I don't feel that way this time. I feel like I got something. They gave me the gift of seeing a world I love come to life. I love Twilight, and so many people don't. So many people hate it, and I think a lot of people just blindly hate it. They've read it, but they've read it with the predisposition that it would suck. And when you go into something thinking it's gonna suck, guess what? It sucks. You know, you have to have an open mind when you go in to things. And I think that's a lot of the problem - people went into Twilight thinking it was going to suck because so-and-so said it's gonna suck. It's hard for me to understand how somebody could hate it because, to me, I see this beautiful, wonderful story and I talk to other people and they see this horrible, horrible story and I'm like 'Where are you seeing that? I don't see it!' And I think each story is something different to somebody. The characters that I see and the story that I see are created from my memories and from my views on life. So I'm creating my own story. Yeah, the base is the same, but I'm still creating the story and these characters in my head, and, you know, every detail of every character can't be put into the book and you kind of fill those in with your memories and your thoughts and your characteristics. And the characters I've created for Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are beautiful characters. People say Bella is just a girl who bows down to Edward and doesn't stand up for herself, blah, blah, blah. I don't see that! I see her as a protector, willing to put the people she loves above herself, and I don't think that's a cowardice thing to do. I think it's a heroic thing to do. I know I couldn't do it. I would put myself first. Maybe that makes me the coward. Well, I know it does, but it's true. You could say 'She's no Hermione Granger', but of course she's not! This isn't fucking Harry Potter! Shut the fuck up! Of course she's not Hermione Granger. And people say Edward is overly protective, blah, blah, blah. Well, first of all, yeah, he is a lot creepier and over-protective in the movies. But I think you are over anybody you love. Think of how protective your parents are. You don't think they would do anything to protect you? You don't think they've ever sat there and watched you sleep just because they were amazed by the beauty of your existence? Of course they have! And you also have to realize how fragile Bella seems to him. It's just...I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. You can explain it a million times to people who hate it, but they're still going to hate it because that's how they feel. And that's fine, because you could talk to me a million times about how much it sucks and why it sucks and I would still come back loving it just because I do. I hate bringing Harry Potter into this conversation because it shouldn't even be a thing. I don't compare Twilight to, I don't know, the Hunger Games. I just don't. Because they're 2 separate stories and in 2 separate worlds. There's no point in comparing them. But for some reason, for some stupid fucking reason, Twilight and Harry Potter are always, always put together and compared. I don't get it. For what Harry Potter was for so many people, Twilight is that for me. And I know that's hard for some people to understand. I've just cried sometimes because I missed out on the Harry Potter thing but I can't go back and change that. I can't go back and change my parents' mind. I can't go back and make them let me read Harry Potter, you know? I can't do that! And so I didn't get the Harry Potter experience and it sucks and I hate it, but I did get the Twilight experience and Twilight was that for me. I think to understand why I love Twilight so much, you have to go back and be in my head and in my shoes during the time in which I started reading Twilight. You have to understand that at that point in my life I was a very lonely, very broken girl. I was, you know, I was cutting myself, I was literally on the verge of suicide. Anything could have set me off. I have never in my life been closer to suicide than the time I picked up Twilight. There were a lot of factors that went in to me feeling like that and Twilight got to be this thing where I could escape and I could feel again. And even if I was just feeling the emotions of these characters, I was at least feeling something. You know, because at this point in my life, I wasn't feeling anything except for pain and heartache and sadness and loneliness. And when Twilight came in to my life, I started feeling again and I started feeling with the characters. Maybe that's why I feel like I'm such a part of it. It sounds so cliche, but Twilight kind of saved me. It gave me something to care about, it gave me a reason. You know, and I've heard people say that about Harry Potter, but it's like mine is a joke because it's Twilight. But it's not a joke to me. (I'm taking out about a 2 minute rant about "pretentious assholes, haha) It was there for me. It gave me something to relate to. People say that when Edward left and Bella was so depressed and blah, blah, blah...it described depression so well - that loneliness, that emptiness...I could relate to that. In her, I found a voice, I found a way to describe to the world how I was feeling at that point in my life. I didn't know how to explain how I felt to the people around me and Bella Swan gave me that voice. And you can hate her and say that she was this poorly developed character, but I disagree with you. I will always disagree with you. And if you knew the Bella Swan that I know and love, you wouldn't think that either. Like I said, characters are created by what we bring to them, and if you walk into a book thinking 'This is gonna suck', you're not going to put anything into those characters except for what you see. And the characters that you see when you read a book are incomplete. You have to complete them. To me, it's an amazing book, and I have never seen a movie do a book more justice than that movie. And I do not make it a secret that I am no Kristen Stewart fan and I think that she just killed this character that I love, and in Breaking Dawn she brought that character back to life and made me love her again. It was amazing."
"They did an amazing job on everything. It's incredible what a good director can do for a movie because Catherine Hardwicke just murdered Twilight. And it sucks because it was such a loved story, especially by me, but of course by others too. She just ruined it and made it a joke and Breaking Dawn went and stole that title right fucking back and it was incredible. They did an amazing job with everything. There wasn't a single thing in the movie where I went and said 'You know what, they could have done this better' because they couldn't. I have never, ever walked into a movie that was based on a book and walked out thinking 'That was better than how I pictured it. They took what I loved and made it better'. I have never had that happen. Not with Harry Potter, not with Twilight, not with any book ever. That's one of the reasons I was kind of nervous about going to see this, because I didn't want to see another thing I love get ruined by somebody doing a half-assed job just to make money. It's why I don't really want to go see the Hunger Games. And it kind of just restored my faith that it is possible for them to do a good job on a movie and not murder it and not make it this horrible, horrible thing, you know? It is possible for them to do the book justice. And this is the first of the movies to be produced by Stephenie Meyer, which I think made a huge difference. It, of course, also helped that they had a great director like Bill Condon who has directed amazing movies like Dreamgirls. But, I mean, it was incredible. Everything about it was incredible. They did an incredible job. I don't know what they did for Bella's body. I dont know if she lost weight for it. Obviously at some parts she was using a body double or a wax figure, but I'm not sure the extent of that (I have since looked, and Kristen said it was almost all digital. Which is amazing. They did such a good job making her look that way.). Because it is true, and I didn't really think about it or think they would do anything about it in the movie, but she did lose weight and was practically on the edge of death, and they really did make her look that way . . . I have no words. Well, clearly I have a lot of words. It was amazing. Every part of it. And they stuck so true to the book. Other than the French clan who comes to visit for the wedding...Other than that, they really stuck to every single detail. There really wasn't a part where I was like...Well, I mean, during the honeymoon they kind of combined a few nights into one night, which is fine. I mean, not a big deal. Obviously they can't show every night of them having sex, although I really wouldn't be opposed to it. That's literally the only thing that I can think of that wasn't entirely true to the books. Other than that, though...Having just re-read the book, you know, it felt like I was watching the book in action. And, the thing is, when I go see books onscreen - Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Harry Potter, whatever - you know, I expect to walk out and be sad because they took my world away from me, they took what I imagined away from me. And this time I walked out thinking 'They didn't take anything away from me, they gave me something better. They gave me something. I got something out of this. I didn't get anything taken away.' Like, that, I mean, is beautiful. The entire movie I was glued to the screen. I felt like I was in the world. And, of course, it helped that I saw all 3 of the previous movies right beforehand, but, I mean, I just felt like I was, like I was watching the book. I was watching it play in my mind, like I do when I read it, except better...even better than I could have imagined. The wedding dress was beautiful. I would have changed a few things on it, but it was beautiful. When I'm reading I picture the world around the character moreso than I picture the character and what they're wearing or anything like that so what the characters look like isn't a huge deal to me, but how the world looks is, and I thought they did great. I was really worried about when they go on their honeymoon because I have that very much stuck in my head how I think it looks and they made it even better. I mean, I'm so, so happy right now...It sounds so weird right now, but I have never felt that way walking out of a movie. I always feel like they took something from me and I don't feel that way this time. I feel like I got something. They gave me the gift of seeing a world I love come to life. I love Twilight, and so many people don't. So many people hate it, and I think a lot of people just blindly hate it. They've read it, but they've read it with the predisposition that it would suck. And when you go into something thinking it's gonna suck, guess what? It sucks. You know, you have to have an open mind when you go in to things. And I think that's a lot of the problem - people went into Twilight thinking it was going to suck because so-and-so said it's gonna suck. It's hard for me to understand how somebody could hate it because, to me, I see this beautiful, wonderful story and I talk to other people and they see this horrible, horrible story and I'm like 'Where are you seeing that? I don't see it!' And I think each story is something different to somebody. The characters that I see and the story that I see are created from my memories and from my views on life. So I'm creating my own story. Yeah, the base is the same, but I'm still creating the story and these characters in my head, and, you know, every detail of every character can't be put into the book and you kind of fill those in with your memories and your thoughts and your characteristics. And the characters I've created for Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are beautiful characters. People say Bella is just a girl who bows down to Edward and doesn't stand up for herself, blah, blah, blah. I don't see that! I see her as a protector, willing to put the people she loves above herself, and I don't think that's a cowardice thing to do. I think it's a heroic thing to do. I know I couldn't do it. I would put myself first. Maybe that makes me the coward. Well, I know it does, but it's true. You could say 'She's no Hermione Granger', but of course she's not! This isn't fucking Harry Potter! Shut the fuck up! Of course she's not Hermione Granger. And people say Edward is overly protective, blah, blah, blah. Well, first of all, yeah, he is a lot creepier and over-protective in the movies. But I think you are over anybody you love. Think of how protective your parents are. You don't think they would do anything to protect you? You don't think they've ever sat there and watched you sleep just because they were amazed by the beauty of your existence? Of course they have! And you also have to realize how fragile Bella seems to him. It's just...I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. You can explain it a million times to people who hate it, but they're still going to hate it because that's how they feel. And that's fine, because you could talk to me a million times about how much it sucks and why it sucks and I would still come back loving it just because I do. I hate bringing Harry Potter into this conversation because it shouldn't even be a thing. I don't compare Twilight to, I don't know, the Hunger Games. I just don't. Because they're 2 separate stories and in 2 separate worlds. There's no point in comparing them. But for some reason, for some stupid fucking reason, Twilight and Harry Potter are always, always put together and compared. I don't get it. For what Harry Potter was for so many people, Twilight is that for me. And I know that's hard for some people to understand. I've just cried sometimes because I missed out on the Harry Potter thing but I can't go back and change that. I can't go back and change my parents' mind. I can't go back and make them let me read Harry Potter, you know? I can't do that! And so I didn't get the Harry Potter experience and it sucks and I hate it, but I did get the Twilight experience and Twilight was that for me. I think to understand why I love Twilight so much, you have to go back and be in my head and in my shoes during the time in which I started reading Twilight. You have to understand that at that point in my life I was a very lonely, very broken girl. I was, you know, I was cutting myself, I was literally on the verge of suicide. Anything could have set me off. I have never in my life been closer to suicide than the time I picked up Twilight. There were a lot of factors that went in to me feeling like that and Twilight got to be this thing where I could escape and I could feel again. And even if I was just feeling the emotions of these characters, I was at least feeling something. You know, because at this point in my life, I wasn't feeling anything except for pain and heartache and sadness and loneliness. And when Twilight came in to my life, I started feeling again and I started feeling with the characters. Maybe that's why I feel like I'm such a part of it. It sounds so cliche, but Twilight kind of saved me. It gave me something to care about, it gave me a reason. You know, and I've heard people say that about Harry Potter, but it's like mine is a joke because it's Twilight. But it's not a joke to me. (I'm taking out about a 2 minute rant about "pretentious assholes, haha) It was there for me. It gave me something to relate to. People say that when Edward left and Bella was so depressed and blah, blah, blah...it described depression so well - that loneliness, that emptiness...I could relate to that. In her, I found a voice, I found a way to describe to the world how I was feeling at that point in my life. I didn't know how to explain how I felt to the people around me and Bella Swan gave me that voice. And you can hate her and say that she was this poorly developed character, but I disagree with you. I will always disagree with you. And if you knew the Bella Swan that I know and love, you wouldn't think that either. Like I said, characters are created by what we bring to them, and if you walk into a book thinking 'This is gonna suck', you're not going to put anything into those characters except for what you see. And the characters that you see when you read a book are incomplete. You have to complete them. To me, it's an amazing book, and I have never seen a movie do a book more justice than that movie. And I do not make it a secret that I am no Kristen Stewart fan and I think that she just killed this character that I love, and in Breaking Dawn she brought that character back to life and made me love her again. It was amazing."
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Reasons To Be Happy
Today was an exceptionally wonderful day, and I thought I'd make a list I can look back at when I'm having a not-so-great day.
1. Woke up early. I always say that I hate waking up early, but whenever I do I feel so much better and I get a lot more done.
2. Took the effort to look decent. I wore my go-to outfit of an oversized sweater and boots. Specifically, I wore plum colored boots, skinny jeans, and a tan sweater. I also added a vintage owl necklace with turquoise eyes that used to be my grandma's.
3. Met up with my best friend. When you don't get to see people as often as you'd like, it sometimes becomes easy to forget all the reasons why you love them. It's always nice to be reminded of those reasons.
4. Went to my favorite restaurant and ordered my favorite meal. With so much pressure in the world to fit into the smallest size possible, it can be easy to look at food as the enemy. Food isn't the enemy, though, and it should definitely be enjoyed (within moderation, of course).
5. Paid for lunch. Having enough money to pay for things can be a trial these days, for sure, but it's really a nice feeling to buy something for someone else on occasion.
6. Went shopping. The term "retail therapy" exists for a reason - sometimes it really does feel nice to buy yourself some nice treats! Today's treats included NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Cottage Cheese, eos Lip Balm in sweet mint (which was a gift for my friend), The Collected Poems of Emily Dickinson, a Great Gatsby bag, and a plush TARDIS which makes noise and lights up (the best buy EVER!). I was very happy to find the TARDIS since I went to Hot Topic and came across a Doctor Who shirt that didn't come in my size and then FYE which was sold out of Doctor Who shirts. I was so excited about the TARDIS! All of the things may seem insignificant and unimportant, but it feels nice to get those things once in a while.
7. Enjoyed the first snowfall of the season. Living in Michigan, I definitely have a love-hate relationship with snow, but the first snowfall is always magical. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our lives and our jobs and our relationships that we forget to appreciate the simple things in life - like water droplets in the air freezing and then falling to the ground.
8. Came home to my Birchbox. I'm a firm believer in sending yourself packages on occasion. Everyone likes getting gifts and everyone likes getting mail, and packages are like those two combined! One of the reasons I love Birchbox is that I get a gift for myself for only $10 a month - and it's always something I want. With the surprise of not knowing what it is, it makes it even better! It's like Christmas every month! In this month's Birchbox (which I will probably do a separate post about later), I got Atelier Cologne Vanille Insensee, BORGHESE Fango Active Mud Face & Body, LaROCCA Champagne and Shimmer Supreme Cremé, Paperdolls Drink Coasters, Zoya nail lacquer in Izzy from their Gems & Jewels Collection, and BaubleBar Black Wood Pop Bracelet. I thought last month's Birchbox was great, but this one just completely topped it. It was incredible! So happy with everything I got! You can sign up for Birchbox by clicking here!
9. Enjoyed the beginning of Harry Potter Marathon Weekend on ABC Family. There's nothing like watching a good movie and getting lost in a world you enjoy. There's also nothing like watching your favorite movies on TV. You can watch them a million times on DVD, but they're always better on TV. It's kind of like when your favorite song comes on the radio.
The point is, even though life can get you down sometimes, you have to remember the good and appreciate the little things.
1. Woke up early. I always say that I hate waking up early, but whenever I do I feel so much better and I get a lot more done.
2. Took the effort to look decent. I wore my go-to outfit of an oversized sweater and boots. Specifically, I wore plum colored boots, skinny jeans, and a tan sweater. I also added a vintage owl necklace with turquoise eyes that used to be my grandma's.
3. Met up with my best friend. When you don't get to see people as often as you'd like, it sometimes becomes easy to forget all the reasons why you love them. It's always nice to be reminded of those reasons.
4. Went to my favorite restaurant and ordered my favorite meal. With so much pressure in the world to fit into the smallest size possible, it can be easy to look at food as the enemy. Food isn't the enemy, though, and it should definitely be enjoyed (within moderation, of course).
5. Paid for lunch. Having enough money to pay for things can be a trial these days, for sure, but it's really a nice feeling to buy something for someone else on occasion.
6. Went shopping. The term "retail therapy" exists for a reason - sometimes it really does feel nice to buy yourself some nice treats! Today's treats included NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Cottage Cheese, eos Lip Balm in sweet mint (which was a gift for my friend), The Collected Poems of Emily Dickinson, a Great Gatsby bag, and a plush TARDIS which makes noise and lights up (the best buy EVER!). I was very happy to find the TARDIS since I went to Hot Topic and came across a Doctor Who shirt that didn't come in my size and then FYE which was sold out of Doctor Who shirts. I was so excited about the TARDIS! All of the things may seem insignificant and unimportant, but it feels nice to get those things once in a while.
7. Enjoyed the first snowfall of the season. Living in Michigan, I definitely have a love-hate relationship with snow, but the first snowfall is always magical. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our lives and our jobs and our relationships that we forget to appreciate the simple things in life - like water droplets in the air freezing and then falling to the ground.
8. Came home to my Birchbox. I'm a firm believer in sending yourself packages on occasion. Everyone likes getting gifts and everyone likes getting mail, and packages are like those two combined! One of the reasons I love Birchbox is that I get a gift for myself for only $10 a month - and it's always something I want. With the surprise of not knowing what it is, it makes it even better! It's like Christmas every month! In this month's Birchbox (which I will probably do a separate post about later), I got Atelier Cologne Vanille Insensee, BORGHESE Fango Active Mud Face & Body, LaROCCA Champagne and Shimmer Supreme Cremé, Paperdolls Drink Coasters, Zoya nail lacquer in Izzy from their Gems & Jewels Collection, and BaubleBar Black Wood Pop Bracelet. I thought last month's Birchbox was great, but this one just completely topped it. It was incredible! So happy with everything I got! You can sign up for Birchbox by clicking here!
9. Enjoyed the beginning of Harry Potter Marathon Weekend on ABC Family. There's nothing like watching a good movie and getting lost in a world you enjoy. There's also nothing like watching your favorite movies on TV. You can watch them a million times on DVD, but they're always better on TV. It's kind of like when your favorite song comes on the radio.
The point is, even though life can get you down sometimes, you have to remember the good and appreciate the little things.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
NaNoWriMo progress (or lack thereof)
I know, I know, I know. I know what's going through your head right now. She's giving up already?! Well, yes and no. Before you laugh at me, let me explain. On the last day of October one of my managers at work quit, following another manager who quit just 3 days before. Those hours (which were a collective 75 hours a week) now fall onto the shoulders of the rest of the employees, me being one of them, until we can find new managers. The one day off I had this week was the last day of October and I have no days off next week, so essentially for the first two weeks (and also into the foreseeable future) I don't get a day off. That is until the third week of November when I have some fairly major dental work happening, which will put me out of commission for at least a day, possibly two. What I'm saying is, until at least the 20th of November, my life will be nothing except work. Well, that's 2/3 of NaNoWriMo just gone out the window. And it sucks. I really love my story and I love my characters and I honestly think it has a lot of potential, but right now I just can't give it the time and commitment that it deserves. And you know what, there are way worse problems to have than "too much" work, so I'm not too sad about this (my feet are another story).
With that being said, what I've decided to do instead is something I've dubbed NaNoReMo (National Novel Reading Month) because as I sat here last night and debated NaNo I realized that I haven't actually finished a book in a long time. I've started a million of them, but then, for some reason, I get busy with something and throw it to the wayside. According to my Good Reads account, which I keep pretty updated, the last book I finished was Mockingjay on January 15, 2011. And, honestly, I'm pretty sure it's right. That means I haven't finished a book in almost a year. A YEAR. I know, it's horrible. Just horrible. And I love reading! I don't know what happened. This year was just so crazy for me I guess. BUT, this will all change during NaNoReMo. I even realized that every single book I purchased during the Austin Teen Book Festival in 2009 has gone unread. This is the list of books I am following for NaNoReMo (I'm not saying I'll finish the list, just that these are books I have to read and want to be part of this):
With that being said, what I've decided to do instead is something I've dubbed NaNoReMo (National Novel Reading Month) because as I sat here last night and debated NaNo I realized that I haven't actually finished a book in a long time. I've started a million of them, but then, for some reason, I get busy with something and throw it to the wayside. According to my Good Reads account, which I keep pretty updated, the last book I finished was Mockingjay on January 15, 2011. And, honestly, I'm pretty sure it's right. That means I haven't finished a book in almost a year. A YEAR. I know, it's horrible. Just horrible. And I love reading! I don't know what happened. This year was just so crazy for me I guess. BUT, this will all change during NaNoReMo. I even realized that every single book I purchased during the Austin Teen Book Festival in 2009 has gone unread. This is the list of books I am following for NaNoReMo (I'm not saying I'll finish the list, just that these are books I have to read and want to be part of this):
1. Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer (No, I don't want to hear about it. Yes, I've read it before. I want to read it again before the movie. I didn't read any of the other books over before the movie, so I thought I should for at least one of them. It's my last chance to see it in my head like I see it and not how the movie will depict it.)
2. Paper Towns by John Green (Yes, I know that it's horrible that I've never read it. I've owned it for like 3 years, but I've just honestly never read it. I think it's time.)
3. Tips on Having a Gay (ex)Boyfriend by Carrie Jones
4. The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson
5. The Lovers Dictionary by David Levithan
6. Matched by Ally Condie
7. Fixing Delilah by Sarah Ockler
8. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Saturday, October 29, 2011
October Favorites
Ten favorites from the month of October.
- Aussie's 3 Minute Miracle Deeeeep Conditioner
- I came across this deep conditioner a few weeks ago. My hair has been a dry, dull, hot mess since I had a hair color fiasco back in January. I had tried many homemade deep conditioners and hair masks and had also tried out many different store conditioners and shampoos. Nothing seemed to work, though. That is until I came across this product. It's incredible. My hair is almost completely back to how it was before I damaged it. Not to mention that it smells incredible. The best part? It's only $3!
- Laura Geller's Spackle Tinted Under Make-up Primer (in bronze)
- I always thought that make-up primer was a waste of money. Beauty gurus always raved about so many different ones, but they were all so pricey! I love make-up, but I do not love spending a lot of money. I got this as a sample in my October Birchbox and immediately fell in love. My make-up goes on much easier and it stays on longer. And, since I don't like spending a lot of money on make-up, I was pleased to find out that, although it costs about $30, you get a huge bottle of it. Definitely worth the price.
- Bath & Body Works Winter Candy Apple body wash
- I had a coupon for a free regular-sized Signature Collection item with any purchase, so me being the cheap person I am, I just bought a travel-sized item in order to get the regular-sized item. For the travel-sized item I bought the Winter Candy Apple body wash. I don't have the words to describe how amazing it smells. It's the perfect blend of sweet, fresh, and holiday scents. I will definitely be going back soon to get the full-size bottle.
- Kelly Clarkson's newest album Stronger
- On the day of this album's release it was only $4.99 on Amazon which is a deal I just can't resist. It's an absolutely brilliant album from start to finish. The title song "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)" is one of the best songs I've ever heard. It's no longer $4.99, but, in my opinion, it's worth full-price.
- Befine's Firming Toner with Ginger and Willow Bark
- My love for Befine products is definitely no secret. I've never seen the point in toners, but when I was at Ulta a few weeks ago picking up the Befine Daily Moisturizer, I came across the toner, which I'd seen, but now it was in a double-pack, combined with the Gentle Cleanser for the price of only the toner. So with the power of my love for Befine and my love for great deals, I couldn't pass it up. Definitely a purchase I don't regret. The toner is amazing. It's made with ginger so it almost feels like you're rubbing a very clean (and sugar-free) version of Ginger Ale on your face. It gives a fresh, tingly feeling that I just love.
- Harvest Pumpkin Cookies
- I got this recipe from my friend Angie and, since we basically enjoy all of the same things, I figured I would enjoy these. And, let me tell you, I definitely did. So good. I've already made them once and I'm about to spend the rest of my night making them again. They're super-easy and also super-delicious.
- OPI's Fair Dinkum Pinkum Nail Lacquer
- I found this nail polish in my collection and I have zero memory of how or when I got it, but I'm so glad I found it. When you look at it in the bottle it looks like a pretty boring pale pink, but when you put it on you realize it's this incredibly beautiful nude-ish pink with hints of sparkle. I say sparkle instead of glitter because I think there's a huge difference, and this definitely has sparkle, not glitter. It has definitely become my new favorite, taking the spot from Sally Hansen's Slick Slate.
- Bioré Self-Heating Mask
- This mask is perfect for relaxing, especially as it starts to get colder outside. The heat in it feels amazing. Not to mention it smells amazing and makes your face feel super clean afterwards.
- Doctor Who
- After almost 2 years of being a self-proclaimed Doctor Who-hater, I finally started liking it. I had tried watching Doctor Who many, many times. I'd even watched almost the entire first season, but I hated it so much, but it seemed to be overtaking the world and almost all of my friends were watching it and I was like "Okay, well, there must be something good about it if all of these people I respect like it". It definitely took me at least another whole season to finally get into it, but once I did there was no turning back. I even joked with my friends not to let me turn into "one of those annoying Doctor Who fans I hate". Well, they didn't hold up their end of that bargain because I am definitely one of those fans now. I have no regrets though. So, so, so, so, SO glad I finally gave it another chance.
- How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them - A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide by Howard Mittelmark
- I'll be starting NaNoWriMo on Monday so I've been reading this to help me get ready. I've owned the book for about 4 years now, but I had never actually read it. It's incredibly useful. I enjoy how it doesn't tell you what TO do, but instead tells you what NOT to do, which works much better, because there isn't really a formula for writing a bestseller, but there are definitely things you can do to make sure your novel won't be a bestseller. Highly recommend this to anyone who 1) wants to write and/or 2) is doing NaNoWriMo.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Beauty & Fashion Challenge
1. You with makeup on:
Honestly it's 3:30 in the morning. You're not getting that out of me now. I'm sure I'll post a picture at some point.
2. Your favorite bag that you own:
This one, which I bought at Wet Seal about 2 years ago on clearance for less than $5. And since it was part of their Buy 1, Get 1 for a Penny sale, I got another purse which is equally as cute for just a penny more. One of my best purchases ever.
3. Your hairstyle:
I don't often do much with my hair. After I get out of the shower, I wrap my hair up in a towel and let it dry that way for 5-10 minutes, then I take it out and let it air dry for another 5-10 minutes. At this point my hair is damp, but not soaking wet. I then use my Orofluido Elixr Hair Serum. It is one of my favorite things in the whole world. I rub a pea-size amount between my hands, and then run it through my hair, especially focusing on the ends of my hair and avoiding the roots. I then blow-dry my hair upside down until it's completely dry. After that I just flip it over, part it to the side and I'm done. Occasionally I will add in my Garnier Fructis Brilliantine Shine Spray for a little extra shine, but not every day. For hairspray, on the occasional day I do use it, I switch between Aussie's Sun-Touched Hi-Hold + Hi-Shine Hairspray, Got2b Smooth Operator Smoothing Hairspray, and Aussie's Catch the Wave Sprunch Hairspray.
4. Your favorite foundation:
I swear by Maybelline's Dream Matte Mousse foundation. I've used it for at least the last 5 years. It's inexpensive and the coverage is fantastic.
5. An outfit that is totally you:
I'm very much just a jeans and sweater or cardigan girl. I don't think that requires a picture.
6. Your favorite makeup brand:
I suppose Maybelline since I wear their foundation and mascara, although I don't actually care that much. The only brand I really care about when it comes to beauty products is Befine, but they don't make makeup (yet!).
7. Your Favorite item of clothing:
My oversized sweater that I got from where I work. I'd show you a picture, but I don't want to make it obvious where I work. Just trust me, it's adorable.
8. A photo of you getting fashion wrong:
Skipping? Haha
9. Your favorite pair of shoes
A pair of dark purple boots that I just bought a couple days ago. So cute!
10. Current fashion/style you like:
Oversized sweaters, jeans, and boots! I've been wearing it every day.
11. Bag you want to have:
I don't need any more bags. I have like 20. Trying to cut back, haha.
12. Your favorite color of clothing:
I've been noticing that I tend to go for blacks and grays a lot. I really need to stop that.
13. Photo of your fashion/style icon:I honestly don't have one.
14. Photo of a hairstyle/haircut you'd like to have:I am a-okay with what I have :)
15. Your favorite piece of jewelry:
Well, I just bought these earrings at Forever 21 a couple weeks ago and I LOVE them. The color on them is actually much more vibrant in person and they're also bigger than they look. They're perfect for fall and SO cheap.
16. A celebrity whose fashion you don't like:
I honestly don't pay attention to the fashion of celebrities enough to care whether or not I like a certain person's style or not.
17. Fashion pieces on your to-buy list:Well those purple boots have been on the list for a month or so, so I guess I need to make a new list :)
18. Your favorite beauty guru:
MissGlamorazzi, by far.
19. Your favorite look from a beauty expert:
I quite enjoy this fall makeup tutorial from MissGlamorazzi. I've been wearing it almost everyday.
20. Your favorite mascara:
Maybelline's Falsies Mascara in blackest black. I swear by it. I occasionally do use blinc Mascara too.
21. Your favorite lipstick:
Maybelline ColorSensational in Pink Satin (120).
22. Your beauty tips for a big night out:
Statement lipstick :)
23. Your best bargain makeup item:Nyx Ultra Pearl Mania Loose Eyeshadow in Mink ($2.99 @ Ulta), and this e.l.f. palette. It's only $9.99 and has some of the best eye shadows I've ever used. Whoever said that expensive was better, never tried this palette.
24. Your new favorite beauty product:
Befine's Firming Toner.
25. Your daily beauty routine:Morning - I use Befine's Gentle Cleanser to wash my face (1-2 times per week I replace it with Befine's Exfoliating Cleanser). I follow it up with Befine's Firming Toner and Befine's Daily Moisturizer. For makeup, I start with Laura Geller's Spackle Tinted Under Make-up Primer in Bronze, I follow that with Maybelline's Dream Matte Mousse foundation, and then set it with Mary Kay's Mineral Powder Foundation. For eyes I use Mary Kay's Cream Eye Color in Vanilla (discontinued color, although Beach Blonde is similar). I then use a mixture from my e.l.f. palette, followed by my Maybelline's Falsies Mascara. I also usually use Estee Lauder's Signature Silky Powder Blush in Pink Kiss.
Evening: For washing my face, I follow the same routine as the morning and then I follow it up with Befine's Night Cream instead of the Daily Moisturizer.
26. An item from your wishlist:Befine's Cooling Peel-off Mask. Can you tell I like Befine?
27. Your favorite skincare product:Befine's Exfoliating Cleanser, hands down. The BEST skincare product out there and it isn't used by NEARLY enough people. It smells incredible, is moisturizing, and makes your face so smooth and soft.
28. Top beauty item you can't live without:That'd be Befine's Exfoliating Cleanser. I honestly really love it.
29. Photo of a makeup look you would love to try out:
I'm game for anything. And it's 3:30 in the morning and I don't feel like looking for something, haha.
30. Your favorite nail polish:OPI's Fair Dinkum Pinkum. It's a very nude-ish pink nail polish. It's subtle but also makes a nice girly statement with little hints of glitter.
Honestly it's 3:30 in the morning. You're not getting that out of me now. I'm sure I'll post a picture at some point.
2. Your favorite bag that you own:
This one, which I bought at Wet Seal about 2 years ago on clearance for less than $5. And since it was part of their Buy 1, Get 1 for a Penny sale, I got another purse which is equally as cute for just a penny more. One of my best purchases ever.
3. Your hairstyle:
I don't often do much with my hair. After I get out of the shower, I wrap my hair up in a towel and let it dry that way for 5-10 minutes, then I take it out and let it air dry for another 5-10 minutes. At this point my hair is damp, but not soaking wet. I then use my Orofluido Elixr Hair Serum. It is one of my favorite things in the whole world. I rub a pea-size amount between my hands, and then run it through my hair, especially focusing on the ends of my hair and avoiding the roots. I then blow-dry my hair upside down until it's completely dry. After that I just flip it over, part it to the side and I'm done. Occasionally I will add in my Garnier Fructis Brilliantine Shine Spray for a little extra shine, but not every day. For hairspray, on the occasional day I do use it, I switch between Aussie's Sun-Touched Hi-Hold + Hi-Shine Hairspray, Got2b Smooth Operator Smoothing Hairspray, and Aussie's Catch the Wave Sprunch Hairspray.
4. Your favorite foundation:
I swear by Maybelline's Dream Matte Mousse foundation. I've used it for at least the last 5 years. It's inexpensive and the coverage is fantastic.
5. An outfit that is totally you:
I'm very much just a jeans and sweater or cardigan girl. I don't think that requires a picture.
6. Your favorite makeup brand:
I suppose Maybelline since I wear their foundation and mascara, although I don't actually care that much. The only brand I really care about when it comes to beauty products is Befine, but they don't make makeup (yet!).
7. Your Favorite item of clothing:
My oversized sweater that I got from where I work. I'd show you a picture, but I don't want to make it obvious where I work. Just trust me, it's adorable.
8. A photo of you getting fashion wrong:
Skipping? Haha
9. Your favorite pair of shoes
A pair of dark purple boots that I just bought a couple days ago. So cute!
10. Current fashion/style you like:
Oversized sweaters, jeans, and boots! I've been wearing it every day.
11. Bag you want to have:
I don't need any more bags. I have like 20. Trying to cut back, haha.
12. Your favorite color of clothing:
I've been noticing that I tend to go for blacks and grays a lot. I really need to stop that.
13. Photo of your fashion/style icon:I honestly don't have one.
14. Photo of a hairstyle/haircut you'd like to have:I am a-okay with what I have :)
15. Your favorite piece of jewelry:
Well, I just bought these earrings at Forever 21 a couple weeks ago and I LOVE them. The color on them is actually much more vibrant in person and they're also bigger than they look. They're perfect for fall and SO cheap.
16. A celebrity whose fashion you don't like:
I honestly don't pay attention to the fashion of celebrities enough to care whether or not I like a certain person's style or not.
17. Fashion pieces on your to-buy list:Well those purple boots have been on the list for a month or so, so I guess I need to make a new list :)
18. Your favorite beauty guru:
MissGlamorazzi, by far.
19. Your favorite look from a beauty expert:
I quite enjoy this fall makeup tutorial from MissGlamorazzi. I've been wearing it almost everyday.
20. Your favorite mascara:
Maybelline's Falsies Mascara in blackest black. I swear by it. I occasionally do use blinc Mascara too.
21. Your favorite lipstick:
Maybelline ColorSensational in Pink Satin (120).
22. Your beauty tips for a big night out:
Statement lipstick :)
23. Your best bargain makeup item:Nyx Ultra Pearl Mania Loose Eyeshadow in Mink ($2.99 @ Ulta), and this e.l.f. palette. It's only $9.99 and has some of the best eye shadows I've ever used. Whoever said that expensive was better, never tried this palette.
24. Your new favorite beauty product:
Befine's Firming Toner.
25. Your daily beauty routine:Morning - I use Befine's Gentle Cleanser to wash my face (1-2 times per week I replace it with Befine's Exfoliating Cleanser). I follow it up with Befine's Firming Toner and Befine's Daily Moisturizer. For makeup, I start with Laura Geller's Spackle Tinted Under Make-up Primer in Bronze, I follow that with Maybelline's Dream Matte Mousse foundation, and then set it with Mary Kay's Mineral Powder Foundation. For eyes I use Mary Kay's Cream Eye Color in Vanilla (discontinued color, although Beach Blonde is similar). I then use a mixture from my e.l.f. palette, followed by my Maybelline's Falsies Mascara. I also usually use Estee Lauder's Signature Silky Powder Blush in Pink Kiss.
Evening: For washing my face, I follow the same routine as the morning and then I follow it up with Befine's Night Cream instead of the Daily Moisturizer.
26. An item from your wishlist:Befine's Cooling Peel-off Mask. Can you tell I like Befine?
27. Your favorite skincare product:Befine's Exfoliating Cleanser, hands down. The BEST skincare product out there and it isn't used by NEARLY enough people. It smells incredible, is moisturizing, and makes your face so smooth and soft.
28. Top beauty item you can't live without:That'd be Befine's Exfoliating Cleanser. I honestly really love it.
29. Photo of a makeup look you would love to try out:
I'm game for anything. And it's 3:30 in the morning and I don't feel like looking for something, haha.
30. Your favorite nail polish:OPI's Fair Dinkum Pinkum. It's a very nude-ish pink nail polish. It's subtle but also makes a nice girly statement with little hints of glitter.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
NaNoWriMo Challenge
I just had a sudden realization that NaNoWriMo begins in just a couple weeks and I am nowhere near ready. Wasn't it 2 months away just yesterday? Well, shit. Anyway, I thought I would do the NaNoWriMo 30 Day Challenge in preparation for the big day. I'm going to be doing it all at once though because God knows I'll never actually finish it if I spread it out over the remaining days. I found this when searching NaNoWriMo stuff on the Internet and thought it'd be interesting even though I don't have answers to all the questions yet.
1. Have you participated in NaNoWriMo before? If so, which years and what was the end result?
I sort of participated last year. I quit about a week or so into it because it was coming up on finals for my sophomore year of college and it was just too much stress and way too time consuming. I'm sure NaNoWriMo is possible in college, but not for me! Luckily I'm taking this semester off so I don't have that as an excuse this year.
2. What's the title of your story? Why did you choose the name you did?
I haven't picked out a title. I'm don't really think you should pick a title before you even begin writing it. Things can change. I don't know where my story will go yet so I don't want to jump the gun and give it a name that may not properly represent it.
3. Pick one of your female characters. Introduce your readers to her from here point of view and her words only.
"Hi, I am an as-of-yet unnamed character because my author is a lazy piece of shit who hasn't really planned enough shit out yet."
4. What genre is your novel? Why did you pick it?
I would say it's a bit futuristic, a bit sci-fi, a bit romance...It's a lot of things. I don't know why I picked it. It's kind of everything I never thought I'd ever write about.
5. Name two songs that you feel are connected with your novel, and, if you like, explain how they are.
I honestly don't really listen to or get inspired by music while writing, so...
6. What is your one biggest stressor related to forcing yourself to write at least 50,000 words in a span of 30 days?
I'm lazy. I mean, that's just the honest truth. There are a million things I'd rather do than the things I have to do. If I have to do something, something else always seems a lot more interesting.
7. Where's your favorite place to hunker down and write?
My bedroom.
8. List your current, most up-to-date word count.
Clearly this is meant for after NaNo has started....
9. Have you told anyone else you're doing NaNo this year? Who? What was their reaction?
Just online people. And considering they're pretty much all doing it too, I guess it wasn't much of a reaction at all.
10. How does your love of writing manifest in non-NaNo months?
It doesn't really. I'm trying to rekindle my love with writing.
11. Ever tried collaborative writing?
No.
12. Imagine you're behind in your word count goals and are going to pull an all-nighter to catch up. Screencap a playlist of inspirational music you would use to get you up to speed.
LOL no.
13. Name a male character from your novel.
Well, I haven't officially landed on a name for him, but I'm thinking about Valik. Like I said, it's futuristic so I'm kind of going for weird names. The name means "choice" and that's the main theme of the book.
14. Is the sexuality of your characters a large part of your novel's story? If so, are there characters who deviate from the heterosexual "norm"? In what way?
It's basically the central theme. There are characters, but I'm not going to say who or how as it will give away a large part of the story :)
15. Do any of your characters have a disability or mental illness?
Not as of yet, no, and I don't believe they will.
16. What else do you have going on in your life, and just how much are you shafting it to win NaNo?
Mostly just work and not nearly enough of it, so I'm pretty much all set.
17. In what time period is your novel set? Is it in this world or another?
It's sometime, many, many years in the future, although I haven't actually decided on a specific year. It's semi-irrelevant to the story. It's in this world.
18. Who is the antagonist in your novel? What drives their actions?
I would say that at least the main antagonist is not a person at all. You could say it's the main female character, but that's pushing it a little. I would say the antagonist is the issue they're dealing with, which I can't really explain more without giving way too much, but, I swear, it makes sense!
19. Which authors or books have inspired your own writing the most, and why?
I would say probably John Green. He just writes so honestly and connects with you on such a deep level, it leaves the story and characters inside of you. It's wonderful.
20. If you could meet one fictional character from any book you've ever read, who would it be, and why?
Dexter from This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen. He was the very first character I ever fell in love with and that book is the reason I love reading so much now.
21. What are your plans and goals for your novel?
Well, I'm not sure. I really just want to finish it.
22. If you've participated in or won NaNo before, what happened to your other novel efforts?
Saved somewhere on a flash drive. I don't even remember what it was about anymore!
23. Do animals play any part in your story? If so, how do they add to it?
No.
24. Is religion featured in your novel at all? If so, which ones? If it's/they're your own creations, describe it/them and how it/they play(s) a part in your characters' lives.
I haven't decided. It will either play a HUGE role in the story or none at all. I can't decide which way I want it to go. I know, I know, I should really decide.
25. What are the names of at least two of your main characters? How did you choose their names?
Well, I think one of the main characters will be named Valik. I'm not 100% on board with it yet, but I do like it. The other main character... I really haven't decided yet. She might not get named til the end, haha.
26. Was any research involved (historical or otherwise) in your NaNo prep?
Well, I'm sure some will be but I haven't done it yet. OOPS.
27. What's your would count now?
Shut up.
28. Irrelevant so I'm skipping.
29. Irrelevant.
30. Share a link to either your NaNo profile or a location on the Internet where your story can be found.
Well the NaNo website appears to be different and I haven't quite figured it out yet, so....
1. Have you participated in NaNoWriMo before? If so, which years and what was the end result?
I sort of participated last year. I quit about a week or so into it because it was coming up on finals for my sophomore year of college and it was just too much stress and way too time consuming. I'm sure NaNoWriMo is possible in college, but not for me! Luckily I'm taking this semester off so I don't have that as an excuse this year.
2. What's the title of your story? Why did you choose the name you did?
I haven't picked out a title. I'm don't really think you should pick a title before you even begin writing it. Things can change. I don't know where my story will go yet so I don't want to jump the gun and give it a name that may not properly represent it.
3. Pick one of your female characters. Introduce your readers to her from here point of view and her words only.
"Hi, I am an as-of-yet unnamed character because my author is a lazy piece of shit who hasn't really planned enough shit out yet."
4. What genre is your novel? Why did you pick it?
I would say it's a bit futuristic, a bit sci-fi, a bit romance...It's a lot of things. I don't know why I picked it. It's kind of everything I never thought I'd ever write about.
5. Name two songs that you feel are connected with your novel, and, if you like, explain how they are.
I honestly don't really listen to or get inspired by music while writing, so...
6. What is your one biggest stressor related to forcing yourself to write at least 50,000 words in a span of 30 days?
I'm lazy. I mean, that's just the honest truth. There are a million things I'd rather do than the things I have to do. If I have to do something, something else always seems a lot more interesting.
7. Where's your favorite place to hunker down and write?
My bedroom.
8. List your current, most up-to-date word count.
Clearly this is meant for after NaNo has started....
9. Have you told anyone else you're doing NaNo this year? Who? What was their reaction?
Just online people. And considering they're pretty much all doing it too, I guess it wasn't much of a reaction at all.
10. How does your love of writing manifest in non-NaNo months?
It doesn't really. I'm trying to rekindle my love with writing.
11. Ever tried collaborative writing?
No.
12. Imagine you're behind in your word count goals and are going to pull an all-nighter to catch up. Screencap a playlist of inspirational music you would use to get you up to speed.
LOL no.
13. Name a male character from your novel.
Well, I haven't officially landed on a name for him, but I'm thinking about Valik. Like I said, it's futuristic so I'm kind of going for weird names. The name means "choice" and that's the main theme of the book.
14. Is the sexuality of your characters a large part of your novel's story? If so, are there characters who deviate from the heterosexual "norm"? In what way?
It's basically the central theme. There are characters, but I'm not going to say who or how as it will give away a large part of the story :)
15. Do any of your characters have a disability or mental illness?
Not as of yet, no, and I don't believe they will.
16. What else do you have going on in your life, and just how much are you shafting it to win NaNo?
Mostly just work and not nearly enough of it, so I'm pretty much all set.
17. In what time period is your novel set? Is it in this world or another?
It's sometime, many, many years in the future, although I haven't actually decided on a specific year. It's semi-irrelevant to the story. It's in this world.
18. Who is the antagonist in your novel? What drives their actions?
I would say that at least the main antagonist is not a person at all. You could say it's the main female character, but that's pushing it a little. I would say the antagonist is the issue they're dealing with, which I can't really explain more without giving way too much, but, I swear, it makes sense!
19. Which authors or books have inspired your own writing the most, and why?
I would say probably John Green. He just writes so honestly and connects with you on such a deep level, it leaves the story and characters inside of you. It's wonderful.
20. If you could meet one fictional character from any book you've ever read, who would it be, and why?
Dexter from This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen. He was the very first character I ever fell in love with and that book is the reason I love reading so much now.
21. What are your plans and goals for your novel?
Well, I'm not sure. I really just want to finish it.
22. If you've participated in or won NaNo before, what happened to your other novel efforts?
Saved somewhere on a flash drive. I don't even remember what it was about anymore!
23. Do animals play any part in your story? If so, how do they add to it?
No.
24. Is religion featured in your novel at all? If so, which ones? If it's/they're your own creations, describe it/them and how it/they play(s) a part in your characters' lives.
I haven't decided. It will either play a HUGE role in the story or none at all. I can't decide which way I want it to go. I know, I know, I should really decide.
25. What are the names of at least two of your main characters? How did you choose their names?
Well, I think one of the main characters will be named Valik. I'm not 100% on board with it yet, but I do like it. The other main character... I really haven't decided yet. She might not get named til the end, haha.
26. Was any research involved (historical or otherwise) in your NaNo prep?
Well, I'm sure some will be but I haven't done it yet. OOPS.
27. What's your would count now?
Shut up.
28. Irrelevant so I'm skipping.
29. Irrelevant.
30. Share a link to either your NaNo profile or a location on the Internet where your story can be found.
Well the NaNo website appears to be different and I haven't quite figured it out yet, so....
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Choosing a College Major
I chose to write this post for two reasons. 1) It's been a long time since I wrote a blog post and I clearly bombed the 30 Day Challenge in September, and 2) I'm having a pretty difficult time deciding on a major and I thought this might be a way to help me decide.
I'm basically torn between 3 different areas of study - child development/teaching, graphic design/photography, and political science. The reasons why I'm drawn to each of these areas of study are completely different, thus making it even more difficult.
I've been saying since just after I started college that child development was what I wanted to study. After working at a summer camp with children for the past few summers I realized how much I truly loved working with kids. I later added a teaching degree on to it just for good measure and job security. I can still do the other things I wanted that have nothing to do with teaching, but I could teach if it came down to it.
Graphic design/photography is something that's always interested me. My dad's a professional photographer and owns a photography company, so it's something that I've always enjoyed and been surrounded by. When I really think "Hey, if you had to wake up tomorrow and whatever you did was what you had to do for the rest of your life, what would you do?" And I think the answer is that I would open up Photoshop and start designing. I'm not very good at it, but that's the whole point of studying it, isn't it? Not to mention, it's not like I couldn't take over the family business if I wanted... I mean, I don't think it is something I'd want, but it's an idea.
Political science is the major I wrote on my first application to college and it's the major I went in to college to study. Politics and government are some of my favorite things in the world. I know a lot of people hate anything to do with politics, but I just love it.
Here's the problem, though...I let fear run my life and it's the reason I can't decide what I want to do. If I could just wipe away the fear and the doubt and the "That's too hard, you can't do it"'s out of my head, I know the answer would be sitting clear in front of me. Is it smart to make a choice about what you want to do with your life based on how easy you think it'll be to find a job in 10 years? Or is that smart? I don't know, but the fear that I won't be able to find a job in whatever area I study is absolutely terrifying to me. I'm scared that if I choose graphic design/photography I'll sit at my computer all day and gain 300 pounds. I'm scared that I'm too shy to be involved in government, even the backseat of government. I'm scared that I won't get the hang of graphic design and I'll get angry and give up. I'm scared that I'll hate having to get up super early every day for child development/teaching and start hating my job and resenting the kids. I'm scared that if I major in political science I'll have no choice but the move to Washington, DC, which has always been a dream place for me, but I also don't want to be stuck there, and I'm not necessarily interested in city or state government. I'm scared that I'll make the wrong decision and I'll be so far in debt that I'll have no choice but to work my ass off at a job I hate to pay for the schooling that got me there.
And if I take all of that fear away, what do I have left? What is it that I want to do? If I stop worrying about the money or the location or the difficulty or any of that, if I just ask myself "What do you want to do?", what do I have left? I think the answer might be graphic design, but let me know what you think.
I'm basically torn between 3 different areas of study - child development/teaching, graphic design/photography, and political science. The reasons why I'm drawn to each of these areas of study are completely different, thus making it even more difficult.
I've been saying since just after I started college that child development was what I wanted to study. After working at a summer camp with children for the past few summers I realized how much I truly loved working with kids. I later added a teaching degree on to it just for good measure and job security. I can still do the other things I wanted that have nothing to do with teaching, but I could teach if it came down to it.
Graphic design/photography is something that's always interested me. My dad's a professional photographer and owns a photography company, so it's something that I've always enjoyed and been surrounded by. When I really think "Hey, if you had to wake up tomorrow and whatever you did was what you had to do for the rest of your life, what would you do?" And I think the answer is that I would open up Photoshop and start designing. I'm not very good at it, but that's the whole point of studying it, isn't it? Not to mention, it's not like I couldn't take over the family business if I wanted... I mean, I don't think it is something I'd want, but it's an idea.
Political science is the major I wrote on my first application to college and it's the major I went in to college to study. Politics and government are some of my favorite things in the world. I know a lot of people hate anything to do with politics, but I just love it.
Here's the problem, though...I let fear run my life and it's the reason I can't decide what I want to do. If I could just wipe away the fear and the doubt and the "That's too hard, you can't do it"'s out of my head, I know the answer would be sitting clear in front of me. Is it smart to make a choice about what you want to do with your life based on how easy you think it'll be to find a job in 10 years? Or is that smart? I don't know, but the fear that I won't be able to find a job in whatever area I study is absolutely terrifying to me. I'm scared that if I choose graphic design/photography I'll sit at my computer all day and gain 300 pounds. I'm scared that I'm too shy to be involved in government, even the backseat of government. I'm scared that I won't get the hang of graphic design and I'll get angry and give up. I'm scared that I'll hate having to get up super early every day for child development/teaching and start hating my job and resenting the kids. I'm scared that if I major in political science I'll have no choice but the move to Washington, DC, which has always been a dream place for me, but I also don't want to be stuck there, and I'm not necessarily interested in city or state government. I'm scared that I'll make the wrong decision and I'll be so far in debt that I'll have no choice but to work my ass off at a job I hate to pay for the schooling that got me there.
And if I take all of that fear away, what do I have left? What is it that I want to do? If I stop worrying about the money or the location or the difficulty or any of that, if I just ask myself "What do you want to do?", what do I have left? I think the answer might be graphic design, but let me know what you think.
Monday, September 12, 2011
30 Day Creative Writing Challenge - Day 3 (September 11th)
I decided that since it's September 11th (although, as I type this, it's actually 14 minutes into September 12th), I should specifically aim today's post towards the subject of that day. The list told me that whatever I wrote today needed to be about my favorite food, and while I could write some little short story about someone eating pizza and being affected by the attacks, I think I'll just stick to writing something a little more personal that doesn't actually involve pizza (maybe I'll save that for another day). I was, however, inspired by a tweet sent out today by ShayCarl that said "Say right now the things you would have said to your loved ones if you were on one of those flights 10 years ago today." Now, I can't imagine making that last call home, to a significant other, to a child, but I thought it would be a little theraputic to at least try to write what I would want to say to everyone I know and love if I knew it was the last thing they'd hear for me. In order to also stay on the 30 day challenge while doing this, I'll be crossing Day 28 off the list. That day is "A suicide note" and while this isn't exactly a suicide note, as no one but the hijackers on those planes died because they set out to do so, it is still pretty similar, as it will be what I would write to these people if it was the last correspondence I would have before my death. Does that make sense? Good, let's get started.
First of all, before I even get into writing the letter/s, I want to talk about the day itself and my personal experience with it. I know, we've all heard everyone's story a million times, but sometimes you just need to say it again. I think one of the first things I should say is that I have never felt all too emotionally connected with the September 11th attacks. I don't know if maybe I just hadn't cognitively developed enough yet to understand it enough to be sad or scared. I definitely don't remember being either one of those things. In fact, I remember thinking "I live in the middle of nowhere so I'm safe", and I actually still have the mindset the majority of the time now, which is actually a pretty ignorant way to live. Anyway, the morning of September 11th, 2001, I had a doctor's appointment at 8:45 a.m. The office was fairly empty and my mom and I were the only ones in the waiting room. They had a TV in the corner that played health-related shows, but nothing else. I remember my mom started to get ansty, she wondered what was taking them so long, it wasn't like there was a line or anything. What we didn't know was that at 8:46, the first plane hit the first WTC. All of a sudden, two nurses burst through the waiting room door carrying a TV. They tried frantically to get it to work for about 5 minutes but didn't succeed. After telling my mom that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Centers, they took me back to a room. I was there for a check-up and not at all happy about it. My mom and the nurse kept talking about the the plane that had hit the tower and I didn't like it - I just wanted to get the appointment done and over with. I remember not understanding what the big deal was. In my ten-year-old brain, a tower was a cell-phone or radio tower, so when I pictured a plane hitting a tower, I pictures one of those tiny two-passenger planes hitting a cell phone tower. After the appointment we got in the car and, having recently become obsessed with country music, I immediately turned the radio to my favorite station. My mom said, "No, we need to listen to the news." I was so angry. I didn't understand what the big deal was. Just then the radio DJ came on and said that the second WTC had been hit by a plane. I can still remember my mom's gasp and she raised her hand to her mouth and whispered "Oh, my God". I almost laughed. Couldn't these planes see the towers. I mean, I had never driven a plane, but could it be that hard to see a radio tower? I don't remember what my mom said to me, if she even said anything at all. I do know that we drove the 15 minutes home while listening to the news, which I was still incredibly upset about. My mom dropped my off at school (to this day I still have no idea why she didn't choose to just take me home) and I went back to my classroom as if it was any other day. I walked into the classroom, sat down, and opened up the book we were reading. Not more than two minutes later the office came over the intercom in the room and asked to have me sent back to the office. Because I had just come from the doctor I thought "Oh, my God, they found something wrong with me" (not joking, that's actually what I thought), and then, on top of that, I felt embarrassed. I was a painfully shy child and when I stood up in class, I knew every pair of eyes was on me. When I got down to the office, I saw that my little brother and sister had also been called down. We were told that our dads were here to pick us up and we were going home. While I was excited to be getting out of school, I didn't understand why. On the way home my dad tried to explain what had happened to us. At this point, it was probably about 9:30. I know I didn't understand him and I still pictured the radio towers and small planes. When we arrived home just before 10 am, my dads took us downstairs and sat us in front of the TV, having already turned on CNN. We didn't want to watch the news, but dads insisted. They said, "This will be important someday. This is big. It's going to change the world." (They also later did this at the start of the Iraq war, waking us up in the middle of the night to watch the first bombs drop). I remember having the sudden realization that these "towers" were not actually radio towers, but were, in fact, building - huge buildings, bigger than any building I'd ever seen. Still, though, the reality didn't set in. Again, my 10-year-old brain just couldn't comprehend death in that magnitude. I didn't understand that someone didn't like us, that that was why this was happening. I don't think I really connected the dots for many years later. Just a few minutes after I had my realization, the first tower began to crumble. I don't remember my feelings about this, in fact, I'm pretty sure I had very few feelings about it. My dads had us watch the news for the rest of the day. Some people might say that was a bad decision, that they should have shielded us from the horrors of the screen, but to this day, I am so thankful that they made me watch it. It really did change the world. My lack of emotion regarding September 11th actually remained until this year. Before this year, I had never shed a tear regarding that day, never really felt sad or scared, either. I always felt incredibly guilty about it. I knew I should feel something, but I just didn't. I have a theory that it was because it happened before I had the ability to understand it and by the time I could understand it, I had seen it so many times that it was like watching a movie, but maybe that's just me making excuses for myself. During a trip to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania in 2004 with my family, we literally stumbled across the crash sight of Flight 93, and in 2003, I made the trip to Washington, D.C., but even then, I felt no emotion. Either way, though, that all changed this year. And I don't know if it was all the years of having no emotion or what, but this year I literally could not stop being emotional. Every time I saw something on the news, I would tear up. I couldn't watch any of the specials without crying. And on the way home today, they played a song in memory of the people who died that day and I just started crying like crazy. And then I was doing one of those laugh-cry things where you're laughing at yourself while you're crying because you don't really know why you're crying. Maybe it's because I understand death a little more, because I am getting better at putting myself in other people's shoes, or maybe it's because my little brother finished Fire Academy a couple months ago and is now a professional fireman. Maybe it's all of those things rolled into one, but I mostly think it's just because I'm growing up.
I honestly don't expect anyone to read that entire story, but that's awesome if someone did. Anyway, on to what this post is REALLY supposed to be about - what I would write to my friends and family if I was on one of those flights that day and I knew I was going to die (and someone had a way to get a letter to them, lol). I am going to try to make it a bit creative, maybe add in a bit of a story-line. We'll see. :
Day 3
To my parents: We had our fair share of disagreements and full-blown arguments, but I wouldn't trade any of you - Mom, Dad, J.R. - for any other parents in the world. You loved me from the very first day and I know you will continue loving me until the day you die. You love me despite my flaws. You know me better than I probably even know myself. You were always there to catch me when I fell. Please don't think that just because those moments went unrecognized they were unnoticed - they were not. Dad, I always kept that little bottle cap pin you gave me when I got my heartbroken - the one that came with the card that said sometimes life is like pop and we get fizz up our nose. Remember that when I'm gone. It might feel like you got some fizz up your nose, but it'll get better, and you still have a full bottle of pop to drink :) Mom, don't think I didn't notice all the sacrifices you made to make sure we had what we needed. Don't think I didn't notice all the effort you put into dinners and cleaning the house and taking care of so many kids. J.R., you were always like a father to me. I know that I didn't tell you very often how I felt about you, but always know that I loved you.
To my siblings: Joe, I'm so proud of what you have accomplished. You've wanted to be a firefighter since you were a little boy, and now you are one! Never give up on your dreams and keep pushing yourself to do better things. I love you! Hayley, you've grown into such an amazing young woman. You're so determined and motivated - things I've always been jealous of. I hope you keep those traits with you you're whole life. I also hope that someday soon you'll get the courage to do what you it is you know you need to do. People will get over it and realize there are much worse things. Michael, I've missed you so much over the last 7 years that you haven't been around, but I never stopped loving you. I will always be your butthead. I'm sorry that I never got to meet Addison and Michael JR, but they are beautiful children and they have a wonderful daddy! Mya, I always wanted a big sister and I couldn't be more proud to call you mine now. Please tell Maddy and Johnny that their Aunt Brenna loved them more than they will ever know! Justin and Tiffany, you both have grown so much since we were younger and I am so proud of where you're heading. Keep going and never stop. I love you! The rest of my siblings, I wish we had all been closer, but I guess that's all we have left now, isn't it? Just wishes and could've-beens. Know that I always counted all of you as siblings and I always will.
To my grandparents: Grandma, you were my best friend and greatest ally throughout the majority of my life. Thanks for listening when no one else would. Thanks for believing me when no one else did. Thanks for standing by me through thick and thin, and for standing beside me during the toughest of times. Kno that I heard every story, remembered every recipe, and cherished every gift. Love you with all my heart. Grandpa, please know that I was always grateful for every single penny you gave me and know that I knew that I didn't deserve any of it. Some of my favorite memories are fishing on the lack with you, or riding on the boat with you and grandma. My favorite smell in the whole world to this day is still the smell of your house on Austin. It was my favorite place in the whole world and it was like a palace to me as a little girl. Thank you for everything you taught me. Barb, you're just like a grandma to me and I'm so glad my grandpa found you. He couldn't have found anyone better!
To my aunts, uncles, and cousins: I love you all so much. Family get-togethers were some of my favorite times. I know you're supposed to hate getting together with your family, but there's honestly nothing I would rather do.
To Devyn: How do you even say goodbye? I want to thank you for the person I became and the huge impact you had on who I am. You are literally my best friend and the only person on this planet I feel truly and completely knows me. You know every part of me, inside and out. We've said and done incredibly hurtful things to each other, and, while I can't speak for you, I know that for me, in the end, I don't remember those things. Instead, I remember all the good times. I know that I talk a lot of the time about the anger inside of me, but know that I won't die with it. I guess a lot of things come into perspective when you know you won't wake up tomorrow. You loved me despite what I look like, despite my emotional rollercoasters, despite my manic states, despite everything. Know that no matter how much I hate my body and myself sometimes, I felt worthy and beautiful for at least one minute of my life because of you. I love you.
To Ariel: I'm sad that we won't end as friends, but know that I always counted you as a friend. You know me so well and although we grew apart in the later years, know that you'll always be PC to me. Love, NC.
To Kristen: I will never forget the time you stayed up all night with me. You are literally the reason I'm alive right now. This is the moment I'm truly supposed to die, not in my bedroom that night. So thank you. <3
To Lauren, A & C (and the rest of Central friends): Thank you so much for making my two years there the very best two years a girl could ask for. How much money did we spend on food? Go eat some Hungry Howies and Pocky for me :) Love you.
To internet friends: Whoever says you can't find friends over the Internet never met you guys. Noxy, Sam, Emily, Sue, Christina, FAYAF, FABP, and I'm sure I'm missing a million more people...there are just so many. You all know me better than anybody IRL and you still talk to me....for some reason. Haha. DFTBA.
To the rest of my friends and family: Know I would love to say goodbye to each one of you personally and thank you for the impact you had upon my life, but it would take me much longer than I have right now, but know that each one of you were important to my life in some way and I love you all.
First of all, before I even get into writing the letter/s, I want to talk about the day itself and my personal experience with it. I know, we've all heard everyone's story a million times, but sometimes you just need to say it again. I think one of the first things I should say is that I have never felt all too emotionally connected with the September 11th attacks. I don't know if maybe I just hadn't cognitively developed enough yet to understand it enough to be sad or scared. I definitely don't remember being either one of those things. In fact, I remember thinking "I live in the middle of nowhere so I'm safe", and I actually still have the mindset the majority of the time now, which is actually a pretty ignorant way to live. Anyway, the morning of September 11th, 2001, I had a doctor's appointment at 8:45 a.m. The office was fairly empty and my mom and I were the only ones in the waiting room. They had a TV in the corner that played health-related shows, but nothing else. I remember my mom started to get ansty, she wondered what was taking them so long, it wasn't like there was a line or anything. What we didn't know was that at 8:46, the first plane hit the first WTC. All of a sudden, two nurses burst through the waiting room door carrying a TV. They tried frantically to get it to work for about 5 minutes but didn't succeed. After telling my mom that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Centers, they took me back to a room. I was there for a check-up and not at all happy about it. My mom and the nurse kept talking about the the plane that had hit the tower and I didn't like it - I just wanted to get the appointment done and over with. I remember not understanding what the big deal was. In my ten-year-old brain, a tower was a cell-phone or radio tower, so when I pictured a plane hitting a tower, I pictures one of those tiny two-passenger planes hitting a cell phone tower. After the appointment we got in the car and, having recently become obsessed with country music, I immediately turned the radio to my favorite station. My mom said, "No, we need to listen to the news." I was so angry. I didn't understand what the big deal was. Just then the radio DJ came on and said that the second WTC had been hit by a plane. I can still remember my mom's gasp and she raised her hand to her mouth and whispered "Oh, my God". I almost laughed. Couldn't these planes see the towers. I mean, I had never driven a plane, but could it be that hard to see a radio tower? I don't remember what my mom said to me, if she even said anything at all. I do know that we drove the 15 minutes home while listening to the news, which I was still incredibly upset about. My mom dropped my off at school (to this day I still have no idea why she didn't choose to just take me home) and I went back to my classroom as if it was any other day. I walked into the classroom, sat down, and opened up the book we were reading. Not more than two minutes later the office came over the intercom in the room and asked to have me sent back to the office. Because I had just come from the doctor I thought "Oh, my God, they found something wrong with me" (not joking, that's actually what I thought), and then, on top of that, I felt embarrassed. I was a painfully shy child and when I stood up in class, I knew every pair of eyes was on me. When I got down to the office, I saw that my little brother and sister had also been called down. We were told that our dads were here to pick us up and we were going home. While I was excited to be getting out of school, I didn't understand why. On the way home my dad tried to explain what had happened to us. At this point, it was probably about 9:30. I know I didn't understand him and I still pictured the radio towers and small planes. When we arrived home just before 10 am, my dads took us downstairs and sat us in front of the TV, having already turned on CNN. We didn't want to watch the news, but dads insisted. They said, "This will be important someday. This is big. It's going to change the world." (They also later did this at the start of the Iraq war, waking us up in the middle of the night to watch the first bombs drop). I remember having the sudden realization that these "towers" were not actually radio towers, but were, in fact, building - huge buildings, bigger than any building I'd ever seen. Still, though, the reality didn't set in. Again, my 10-year-old brain just couldn't comprehend death in that magnitude. I didn't understand that someone didn't like us, that that was why this was happening. I don't think I really connected the dots for many years later. Just a few minutes after I had my realization, the first tower began to crumble. I don't remember my feelings about this, in fact, I'm pretty sure I had very few feelings about it. My dads had us watch the news for the rest of the day. Some people might say that was a bad decision, that they should have shielded us from the horrors of the screen, but to this day, I am so thankful that they made me watch it. It really did change the world. My lack of emotion regarding September 11th actually remained until this year. Before this year, I had never shed a tear regarding that day, never really felt sad or scared, either. I always felt incredibly guilty about it. I knew I should feel something, but I just didn't. I have a theory that it was because it happened before I had the ability to understand it and by the time I could understand it, I had seen it so many times that it was like watching a movie, but maybe that's just me making excuses for myself. During a trip to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania in 2004 with my family, we literally stumbled across the crash sight of Flight 93, and in 2003, I made the trip to Washington, D.C., but even then, I felt no emotion. Either way, though, that all changed this year. And I don't know if it was all the years of having no emotion or what, but this year I literally could not stop being emotional. Every time I saw something on the news, I would tear up. I couldn't watch any of the specials without crying. And on the way home today, they played a song in memory of the people who died that day and I just started crying like crazy. And then I was doing one of those laugh-cry things where you're laughing at yourself while you're crying because you don't really know why you're crying. Maybe it's because I understand death a little more, because I am getting better at putting myself in other people's shoes, or maybe it's because my little brother finished Fire Academy a couple months ago and is now a professional fireman. Maybe it's all of those things rolled into one, but I mostly think it's just because I'm growing up.
I honestly don't expect anyone to read that entire story, but that's awesome if someone did. Anyway, on to what this post is REALLY supposed to be about - what I would write to my friends and family if I was on one of those flights that day and I knew I was going to die (and someone had a way to get a letter to them, lol). I am going to try to make it a bit creative, maybe add in a bit of a story-line. We'll see. :
Day 3
To my parents: We had our fair share of disagreements and full-blown arguments, but I wouldn't trade any of you - Mom, Dad, J.R. - for any other parents in the world. You loved me from the very first day and I know you will continue loving me until the day you die. You love me despite my flaws. You know me better than I probably even know myself. You were always there to catch me when I fell. Please don't think that just because those moments went unrecognized they were unnoticed - they were not. Dad, I always kept that little bottle cap pin you gave me when I got my heartbroken - the one that came with the card that said sometimes life is like pop and we get fizz up our nose. Remember that when I'm gone. It might feel like you got some fizz up your nose, but it'll get better, and you still have a full bottle of pop to drink :) Mom, don't think I didn't notice all the sacrifices you made to make sure we had what we needed. Don't think I didn't notice all the effort you put into dinners and cleaning the house and taking care of so many kids. J.R., you were always like a father to me. I know that I didn't tell you very often how I felt about you, but always know that I loved you.
To my siblings: Joe, I'm so proud of what you have accomplished. You've wanted to be a firefighter since you were a little boy, and now you are one! Never give up on your dreams and keep pushing yourself to do better things. I love you! Hayley, you've grown into such an amazing young woman. You're so determined and motivated - things I've always been jealous of. I hope you keep those traits with you you're whole life. I also hope that someday soon you'll get the courage to do what you it is you know you need to do. People will get over it and realize there are much worse things. Michael, I've missed you so much over the last 7 years that you haven't been around, but I never stopped loving you. I will always be your butthead. I'm sorry that I never got to meet Addison and Michael JR, but they are beautiful children and they have a wonderful daddy! Mya, I always wanted a big sister and I couldn't be more proud to call you mine now. Please tell Maddy and Johnny that their Aunt Brenna loved them more than they will ever know! Justin and Tiffany, you both have grown so much since we were younger and I am so proud of where you're heading. Keep going and never stop. I love you! The rest of my siblings, I wish we had all been closer, but I guess that's all we have left now, isn't it? Just wishes and could've-beens. Know that I always counted all of you as siblings and I always will.
To my grandparents: Grandma, you were my best friend and greatest ally throughout the majority of my life. Thanks for listening when no one else would. Thanks for believing me when no one else did. Thanks for standing by me through thick and thin, and for standing beside me during the toughest of times. Kno that I heard every story, remembered every recipe, and cherished every gift. Love you with all my heart. Grandpa, please know that I was always grateful for every single penny you gave me and know that I knew that I didn't deserve any of it. Some of my favorite memories are fishing on the lack with you, or riding on the boat with you and grandma. My favorite smell in the whole world to this day is still the smell of your house on Austin. It was my favorite place in the whole world and it was like a palace to me as a little girl. Thank you for everything you taught me. Barb, you're just like a grandma to me and I'm so glad my grandpa found you. He couldn't have found anyone better!
To my aunts, uncles, and cousins: I love you all so much. Family get-togethers were some of my favorite times. I know you're supposed to hate getting together with your family, but there's honestly nothing I would rather do.
To Devyn: How do you even say goodbye? I want to thank you for the person I became and the huge impact you had on who I am. You are literally my best friend and the only person on this planet I feel truly and completely knows me. You know every part of me, inside and out. We've said and done incredibly hurtful things to each other, and, while I can't speak for you, I know that for me, in the end, I don't remember those things. Instead, I remember all the good times. I know that I talk a lot of the time about the anger inside of me, but know that I won't die with it. I guess a lot of things come into perspective when you know you won't wake up tomorrow. You loved me despite what I look like, despite my emotional rollercoasters, despite my manic states, despite everything. Know that no matter how much I hate my body and myself sometimes, I felt worthy and beautiful for at least one minute of my life because of you. I love you.
To Ariel: I'm sad that we won't end as friends, but know that I always counted you as a friend. You know me so well and although we grew apart in the later years, know that you'll always be PC to me. Love, NC.
To Kristen: I will never forget the time you stayed up all night with me. You are literally the reason I'm alive right now. This is the moment I'm truly supposed to die, not in my bedroom that night. So thank you. <3
To Lauren, A & C (and the rest of Central friends): Thank you so much for making my two years there the very best two years a girl could ask for. How much money did we spend on food? Go eat some Hungry Howies and Pocky for me :) Love you.
To internet friends: Whoever says you can't find friends over the Internet never met you guys. Noxy, Sam, Emily, Sue, Christina, FAYAF, FABP, and I'm sure I'm missing a million more people...there are just so many. You all know me better than anybody IRL and you still talk to me....for some reason. Haha. DFTBA.
To the rest of my friends and family: Know I would love to say goodbye to each one of you personally and thank you for the impact you had upon my life, but it would take me much longer than I have right now, but know that each one of you were important to my life in some way and I love you all.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
30 Day Creative Writing Challenge - Day 2
As you know, yesterday I started the 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge, and, while I should be sleeping, I thought I should probably do the second day of the challenge. What's the point of a challenge if you don't put some effort into it? And, let me tell you, this one was effort. I haven't written more than 5 poems in the last 4 years, and so that's what I set out to do today. I have never set out to purposely write a poem. During the time in my life when I was writing a lot of poems, I still never set out to purposely write something - it always just came to me. I knew pretty much what I wanted to write about, I just didn't know how I wanted to say it. So after trying multiple methods and twisting and turning on my bed for an hour and a half, this is what I came up with.
Day 2
A couple (I stretched this idea a bit, since it's not actually based off of a couple, but I'm sure many couples could relate to it)
Day 2
A couple (I stretched this idea a bit, since it's not actually based off of a couple, but I'm sure many couples could relate to it)
Rain slaps against the window
The world could be ending
But all I can feel are
HandsThe smell of your skin
Innocence meets decisions
But all I can think of are
LipsSounds of breathing
The movement of bodies
And I realize this is not
Love
Saturday, September 10, 2011
30 Day Creative Writing Challenge - Day 1
Early this morning I decided to change the name of my blog (or at least the URL) to "brennawritesstuff" just because I kind of want this to be about whatever I want, not just NaNoWriMo (although that will primarily be the focus). I have a Tumblr and I post unnecessary crap all over the Internet, but I kind of want this blog to be important. I want everything I put on here to take effort, time, and thought. Today I came across a 30 Day Creative Writing Challenge and I thought that might be a good way to lead up to NaNo and kind of get the creative juices flowing a little. This is going to be a bit hard for me because I am so self-conscious of my writing (or anything, lol). I never think it's good and, ugh, I don't know, haha, but I have to get over my fear. I did also find a 30 day NaNo challenge, so I'll be beginning that on October 1st. Because of that, I'll be excluding about 8 or so days of the challenge I'll be doing this month so that I don't have to post more than one per day. The 30 Day Creative Challenge is as follows:
"Write creatively. Any style/form goes.
Day 1: Something you love.Day 2: A couple.- Day 3: Your favorite food.
- Day 4: A pair of eyeglasses.
- Day 5: Something historical.
- Day 6: Family.
- Day 7: A pet who is loved.
- Day 8: Something personal.
- Day 9: A love poem.
- Day 10: Something you hate.
- Day 11: An adventure!
- Day 12: A favorite memory.
- Day 13: 'Remember that time when...'
- Day 14: Friends.
- Day 15: A challenge.
- Day 15: Faeries.
- Day 17: Old friends.
- Day 18: Explosions!
- Day 19: Pirate-Ninja-Zombie Wars.
- Day 20: A short fanfic.
- Day 21: Something...erotic. (I'll probably be skipping this day! LOL)
- Day 22: Something irritating.
- Day 23: An argument.
- Day 24: An important conversation in the style of a movie script.
- Day 25: Volcanoes!
- Day 26. Yourself.
- Day 27: Your parents.
Day 28: A suicide note.- Day 29: An idea.
- Day 30: Triumph!"
So here we go...DAY 1!
Something you love
Well, something I love is reminiscing, and yesterday I came across a box full of notebooks (probably close to 30 of them) filled with journal entries, poems, songs, etc., that I wrote when I was a teenager, so I'm going to cheat a little today and put one of those as today's post. I don't actually remember writing this, but it is in my handwriting and I searched on Google but came up with nothings, so I'm assuming I did in fact write it. If not, that's embarrassing, haha. I've edited a bit of it, so I guess I'm still creatively writing ;)
"I looked into her eyes - eyes that told stories of things I had yet to discover, and maybe never would. They were deep with wisdom, deeper with sympathy, and deeper still in those blue eyes was a plea to me - a plea to let go of my demons. And in those eyes I wanted to find a reason to let go of my past, to forget the demons that now haunted me. I wanted so badly to do what she wanted, but the power, the lust, of the demons was unconquerable.
I had been faced with everything - death of myself, as well as friends and family, jail, homelessness, and, most of all, heartbreak. Often heartbreak. No one would stay with someone who undoubtedly had a love much greater than the one that existed for them. They knew they were not my real significant other. Those highs were what I lived for. The love of substances far greater, far more powerful, than my love for another human being ever could be. Somehow I had convinced myself that all I needed in my life were the highs, that it would never hurt anyone besides me. I was dead wrong, but I couldn't see it then. Perhaps I never really would."
Friday, September 9, 2011
52 Days
I attempted NaNoWriMo last year. The keyword in that sentence is "attempted". I think my final word count was just over 3,000, having given up just about 2 or 3 days into the challenge. Of course I had plenty of excuses - a job, finals, sophomore year of college, etc., but, if I was being honest, I was just lazy and when I lost the enthusiasm of the first few days, I just didn't care enough to put the effort in that it would take to reach 50,000 words. Maybe giving up was for the best, though, since no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to remember what I was writing about last year. It must not have been that important to me. Either way, the idea I have this year has been bouncing around my head since about April. I didn't write the idea down and I haven't even really talked about it until now because I didn't think I would do anything about it. I'm not really a writer. I used to be. Up until I was 16 or 17, I wrote all the time - poems, songs, stories, everything. I have notebooks upon notebooks filled with stories I wrote when I was 8, songs I wrote when I was 10, and poems depicting every overly-dramatic moment of my teenage years. At some point when I was about 17, I started taking anti-depressants. They got rid of my depression, but they also took away every other emotion, and my emotions were my source of inspiration for writing. I can almost pinpoint the exact moment I stopped writing. So for the past almost 4 years I haven't written more than maybe 5 poems, no songs, and no stories. I think my problem is, whenever I have an idea for anything, I start writing and as soon as one thing isn't portrayed as well in writing as it is in my head, I give up. I think I have to realize that it's not always going to be the same in my head as it will be on paper, but that doesn't mean I should stop. I shouldn't let my fear of writing something bad stop me from writing. I can't get any better if I don't practice.
"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."
So here's to playing the game.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)